I’ve learned that many of the same undercover techniques that investigators use to infiltrate companies – and catch thieves – could work on a date.
1) Be a good listener.
Sometimes women get so caught up in the fantasy – or what they WANT to hear – that they forget to listen to what the other person is actually saying. Undercover operatives know that being a good listener, rather than constantly being the center of attention, is the best way to get people to open up about themselves. . . and sometimes, even share their darkest secrets.
2) Use mirroring.
As detectives, we learn that one shortcut in getting other people to feel comfortable with you is ‘mirroring’ their behavior by mimicking their hand movements, laughing when they laugh, etc. This will give them the signal psychologically that you are in tune with them, and they are more likely to relax and show you who they really are. Very successful flirts also use this technique to signal interest – on the other hand if you hear something REALLY alarming (“I attend regular White Power rallys on weekends…”) you can bail early!
3) Watch for disgruntled employees.
Unhappy employees are often the ones who steal. I think that EVERYONE should beware the ‘disgruntled dater’, because the man who arrogantly puts down waiters, taxi drivers or busboys will be doing the same thing to you down the road. Same goes for the guy who ‘has been hurt many times before’ because all of his ex-girlfriends were ‘psycho bitches’!