You don’t want to wait six months to weed out crazy people, right? In detective school we learn cognitive interview techniques that are meant for questioning suspects and witnesses of a crime. The tricks we use to get to get to the truth–fast–work equally well on first dates… Read more
The Love Detective Investigates
Interrogate your date
I get a lot of requests to do background checks after three months of dating because something ‘doesn’t feel quite right’. But nine times out of ten, the disgruntled daters don’t need a background check. Because they can do their own investigation over appetizers. So before you pay tons of money to hire an expert, pretend that you are ‘good cop’ and ask a few questions. In a perfect world, by the end of the first date you would know the following five things: Read more
Prisoners: The Ultimate Bad Boys?
Convicted murderer Joran van der Sloot may or may not be a father soon but he does have a girlfriend. And he gets conjugal visits. So what they hell is she thinking? I have a few theories, but none of them make dating a prisoner any less insane.
1. Prisoners are the ultimate ‘safe’ bad boys. Women who need to feel needed believe that they can ‘tame’ them and see their softer side. At least, as long as there is a guard with bear mace within spitting distance.
2. They believe that a guy in a cage is better than no guy at all. These women are passive commitment-phobes who don’t want a ‘real’ relationship. Maybe they have been burned in the past, cheated on, or abused. It’s like looking at the lion in the zoo–a safe way to experience intensity. Read more
Goals of the Investigation
These should be listed on your intake form. What do you hope to accomplish? Casual sex? A fling? A booty call? Long-term relationship? Marriage? Children? One more beer? Whatever your goal, the key is to be honest with the person you are dating.
But first, you have to be honest with yourself.