Tattoo Regret

The news that Miley Cyrus just got a ‘Love’ tattoo inside her ear reminded me of a dinner I had recently with some friends, where the conversation turned to painful body art. A cardiologist told me that when he does surgery on patients with tattoos he sometimes struggles to match up the words and scar tissue : When a woman came in a with ‘If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right’ inked across her chest, he didn’t want to change the context!

There are two schools of tattoo thought: Some, like Jordan, seem to believe that once a person is inked on your body, it’s part of history. She had her ex-husband ‘Peter Andre’ crossed off, but his name is still visible. Others try to erase the canvas: So Johnny Depp’s ‘Winona Forever’ became ‘Wino Forever’, and Angelina’s ‘Billy Bob’ is gone.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not anti-tattoo. My best friend has several, and all of them are amazing. But if I ever get one, I will steer clear of:

1. Anything with foreign characters I can’t read

Because if you get drunk or piss the wrong person off, that Chinese lettering that you think stands for ‘virility’ could end up reading mean ‘dog man’.

2. The name of a husband or lover.

Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Do you really want your new man to have to stare up at ‘Guido’ forever?

3. Anyone’s face. Ever. (As my friend pointed out, cartoons, historical figures and fictional characters are ok because they won’t be around to harass you or cause you regret later!) :)

No, not even your kids. They will eventually grow up. Embarrassing photos should stay stashed in the closet, not inked on dad’s shoulder.

4. Finger Moustaches.

Enough said. They were funny for about five seconds, and it would have been a lot funnier if it had been permanent marker that washed off afterwards.

5. Typos

‘Beautiful Tradgedy’? Yeah, you are. But not for the reason you think.

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