Why I hate Valentine’s Day

Give me Whisky, not Teddy Bears:Passing yet another window filled with cheap cuddly toys last week, I found myself yearning for the way St Valentine’s Day used to be. You know, back when saints-to-be were beheaded for performing marriages, and when – as part of V-Day’s precursor, the pagan fertility festival of Lupercalia – Romans sacrificed goats and dogs and ran through the streets whipping women with the skins. During these sacred rites, the boys drew cards bearing the names of local girls whom they were expected to court. If a boy did not like his partner, he deserted her and the girl was forced to remain in shameful isolation. Then an effigy of the boy was burned while onlookers shouted abuse.

Humiliation, public retribution and a nice whipping: sounds like my last relationship. Read more

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