Like many horror fans, I often find myself scratching my head over a character’s idiotic decision to go down to a dark basement. But since becoming a private investigator, I’ve found myself screaming at the TV even more than usual – because I can see so many situations that are totally preventable. So in the spirit of Halloween, here are some very practical ways that a detective could give classic horror movies much happier endings.
Now that I’m gearing up for Halloween, I have horror movies on almost every night. Last night was ‘The Stepfather’, the 1987 classic starring Terry O’ Quinn as the ‘too good to be true’ man with old-fashioned values who marries lonely divorcees in search of the ‘perfect family’, then inevitably kills them when things go wrong. The scariest part? There are several true-to-life scenes in every one of these movies that I see constantly as a private investigator.
Sometimes the scariest part of Halloween is shopping for a costume that doesn’t make you look like you’re trawling for business at a Bangkok bar. I get that some women (myself included some years) want to use the holiday as an excuse to tart it up, and there are certainly a plethora of costumes on the market that will allow us that option. But while it may make sense to have ‘sexy’ version of angel, devil, Playboy Bunny, and even ironic pregnant nun, why must EVERY costume now have a version that is basically a garter belt and underwear?