Catherine Townsend is a sex columnist and author who lives with her fiancé in Los Angeles. She says: “Recently I borrowed my fiancé’s laptop and saw in his Google history the words: ‘hot threesome’.
I know some women would have been disgusted to discover their partner had been looking at porn. But not me.
Instead of throwing the computer at him and flouncing out in a strop, I suggested that we watch some together.
For me, porn is no different from a vibrator, it’s just another way to keep my sex life interesting, and I don’t see anything shameful about that.
It used to be the domain of seedy sex shops and dirty old men, but now porn is everywhere and millions of women log on to erotic websites and buy DVDs and books online every year.
I am one of them, watching it a couple of times a week, both by myself and with my fiancé.
Most of my friends insist they don’t watch porn, and there’s no doubt there’s still a stigma attached to women using it, but I’m sure that some of them are secret porn consumers.
Women are conditioned to believe we prefer slow seduction, but the reality is we can be aroused just as quickly as men by the right visual images.
And in today’s busy, pressurised world, if a quick five minutes on your laptop can give you as good an orgasm as an hour of masturbation or foreplay, what’s the problem?
I disagree that porn is demeaning to women. Just because I like seeing a woman being spanked in a film doesn’t make me subservient in my real life.
And I don’t feel threatened by the women in porn films. In a healthy relationship, a two-dimensional image can never compete with the real thing.”