A new study says that we’re risking psychological damage if we Facebook stalk our exes. I admit; I’m a former Facebook stalker. After several bad breakups, I’ve learned to hit the ‘unfriend’ button immediately and get over things the far more emotionally healthy way: By pretending that my ex is dead for a minimum of six months. When I’ve broken this rule in the past, the results have never been good. Many of my friends have the same issue: We KNOW logically that we should cut off all contact, so why is the urge to stalk so strong?
People are always shocked when I tell them that I’m not Facebook friends with my fiancé. Especially since he’s a music industry executive with more than 1,500 female ‘connections’. I’m possibly the only women in L.A. who’s NOT linked to his page. But I don’t want to post sweet nothings on his wall. I don’t want to read messages from scantily-clad women named Bambi who want to ‘hit him up’ for drinks.
What kind of masochist would take a holiday in a honeymoon paradise when they’ve just been dumped by their boyfriend?
To outside observers, we looked like any other love-struck couple en route to the Maldives, one of the most romantic destinations in the world. Except that my friend Vincent and I weren’t honeymooners. I had just been dumped by my ex with the immortal line, “My feelings for you aren’t black and white, but grey.” Vincent, a platonic friend, had been frantic at work and had a few disappointing dates. Why, we reasoned, should we have to wait for the perfect relationship to visit tropical paradise? After all, by the time I tie the knot, the islands could have been swallowed by the oceans due to global warming.