October 9, 2012 catherinetownsend

Prisoners: The Ultimate Bad Boys?

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Convicted murderer Joran van der Sloot may or may not be a father soon but he does have a girlfriend. And he gets conjugal visits. So what they hell is she thinking? I have a few theories, but none of them make dating a prisoner any less insane.

1. Prisoners are the ultimate ‘safe’ bad boys. Women who need to feel needed believe that they can ‘tame’ them and see their softer side. At least, as long as there is a guard with bear mace within spitting distance.

2. They believe that a guy in a cage is better than no guy at all. These women are passive commitment-phobes who don’t want a ‘real’ relationship. Maybe they have been burned in the past, cheated on, or abused. It’s like looking at the lion in the zoo–a safe way to experience intensity. 

3. They don’t want to wait by the phone. Men in prison tend to write long love letters and call when they say they will. Because they want to make sure those checks keep coming!

4. They believe the men don’t/can’t cheat. I’ve actually spoken to someone who tells me that she prefers dating men behind bars because they ‘can’t look at other women or hook up’. At least, until he drops the soap…

5. They want to land a hotter model than they could on the ‘outside’. Prison yards are a great workout! Maybe they can’t date Brad Pitt, so they figure that Scott Peterson or Erik Menendez are worth a shot.

The scariest part? I have so many amazing, well-educated, kind male friends who can’t get a date while women fight over felons.

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