Swinger’s Dictionary Decoded

Swinging: Also referred to as ‘The Lifestyle’, swinging is a non-monogamous behavior in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activity with others as a recreational or social activity.

Cheating: Marital infidelity without your partner’s knowledge or consent.

Open relationship: A term to describe a relationship arrangement in which both parties in a couple are permitted to engage with other individuals, with or without the knowledge of their primary partner.

‘The Rules’: For swingers, ‘The Rules’ are guidelines and principles agreed on by couples to participate in the lifestyle.

Swinging scale: The range of acceptable swinging activities as determined by a couple and/or an individual.

Full Swap: Full swinging experience – no holds barred.

Full Swap, Same Room: Full swinging experience, but both partners must remain in the same room throughout.

Soft Swap: A limited swinging experience where the line is typically drawn short of sexual intercourse.

Vanilla: Term used to describe people who do not participate in the lifestyle.

Unicorn: Term described to describe a single female – also referred to as the ‘mythical creature’ – who engages in sexual activity with another couple. There is no known male equivalent.

Cruise Director: Term used to describe the individual who is in charge of the action at a swinging event.

A new reality show will follow five ‘average, all-American’ couples as they juggle marriages, careers and daily life with swinging. Couples that star in Secret Sex Lives: Swingers are professionals and parents in committed relationships living in Atlanta, Southern town in the heart of the Bible belt with a lively swinger’s scene’, and are in committed relationships. [. . .]

Are you trusting your ‘gut’, or something else?

It’s not often in reality TV  that you get to have a ‘teachable moment’, but in my opinion as an investigator it’s happening right now on The Real Housewives of Orange County with Vicki Gunvalson and her shady boyfriend Brooks Ayers. Everyone around her believes that he’s a con artist. After all, red flags don’t turn pink. Meanwhile she is equally sure that her instincts are right. I see this as an investigator all the time, and I think it’s down to a fundamental misunderstanding of one of the first rules of detective school: Trust your gut. Read more

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