Sex, Sleuthing, and Shots on the Radio

Tonight I’m a guest on Neil Strauss’s new Sirius radio show, The Inner Circle. Taping was a blast: We discuss sex and marriage, which naturally leads to discussion of death, prostitution, cheating, whisky shots and one guest threatening suicide. I wasn’t the instigator of a man threatening to kill himself (though honestly, if I had been it probably would not have been the first time!) You can get a free 30-day trial here. Check it out! 

Why I Love Movie Villains

I have a cold. As I cough and re-watch childhood favorites Legend and Labyrinth, it becomes clear to me that my love of highly sexualized powerful bad boys started at a very young age. I ALWAYS preferred the big-horned devil over ‘good boy’ Tom Cruise, and if it had been a choice between living with David Bowie’s Goblin King, Jareth, and my little brother…well, let’s just say the baby and those singing muppets would have all been s**t out of luck. Read more

I’m face blind, not a space cadet

The New Yorker has a fabulous article this week about face blindness, which is a condition that I’ve suffered from for years but only recently figured out. Technically it’s called prosopagnosia, and it’s the inability to recognize faces, even when sight is normal. Mine isn’t as severe as the man in the article, who sometimes can’t recognize his own assistant, but I definitely have huge issues with people I haven’t seen SEVERAL times in rapid succession.

And if someone is out of context, I blank them. Dating can be a challenge, especially on second or third dates with guys of average height who are wearing suits in a dark restaurant. I’ve developed strategies to cope: I’ll always be early, and text from the bar while pretending to be immersed in my iPhone Sudoku application so he’s forced to tap me on the shoulder. Though once I did blank a guy I’d supposedly had sex with, so it’s not a perfect system! Read more

Tattoo Regret

The news that Miley Cyrus just got a ‘Love’ tattoo inside her ear reminded me of a dinner I had recently with some friends, where the conversation turned to painful body art. A cardiologist told me that when he does surgery on patients with tattoos he sometimes struggles to match up the words and scar tissue : When a woman came in a with ‘If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right’ inked across her chest, he didn’t want to change the context!

There are two schools of tattoo thought: Some, like Jordan, seem to believe that once a person is inked on your body, it’s part of history. She had her ex-husband ‘Peter Andre’ crossed off, but his name is still visible. Others try to erase the canvas: So Johnny Depp’s ‘Winona Forever’ became ‘Wino Forever’, and Angelina’s ‘Billy Bob’ is gone.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not anti-tattoo. My best friend has several, and all of them are amazing. But if I ever get one, I will steer clear of:

1. Anything with foreign characters I can’t read

Because if you get drunk or piss the wrong person off, that Chinese lettering that you think stands for ‘virility’ could end up reading mean ‘dog man’.

2. The name of a husband or lover.

Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Do you really want your new man to have to stare up at ‘Guido’ forever?

3. Anyone’s face. Ever. (As my friend pointed out, cartoons, historical figures and fictional characters are ok because they won’t be around to harass you or cause you regret later!) :)

No, not even your kids. They will eventually grow up. Embarrassing photos should stay stashed in the closet, not inked on dad’s shoulder.

4. Finger Moustaches.

Enough said. They were funny for about five seconds, and it would have been a lot funnier if it had been permanent marker that washed off afterwards.

5. Typos

‘Beautiful Tradgedy’? Yeah, you are. But not for the reason you think.

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